She said "I Don't Understand"

Copyright ©1996 by Richard J. Sereday Jr.
All rights reserved

She told me she wasn't happy.

She told me she didn't want
to be married anymore.

She told me
she didn't need a man.

I told her how much
I loved her.

I told her she was my world,
my everything.

I told her I knew that
I made lots of mistakes
over the years.

I told her I was so sorry.

I told her my family
meant every thing to me.

I told her that the man
she loved so deeply
once upon a time
was still somewhere beneath
all the garbage that I
let pile up on him over time.

I told her that I believed
somewhere in the
deepest darkest corner
of her heart,
in this pile of ashes
there was still a little spark
that could grow into
a flame once again.

I asked her not to
tear our family apart.

I asked her not to
tear my heart apart.

I told her how much
I needed her.

I told her that I wanted to
try to work things out.

I told her I would work
so hard.

I told her she was the answer
to my life long prayers,
and all my dreams.

I told her,
I thought that we could
find happiness again.

I asked her not to
leave me.

I asked her for just one chance
to see if we could work things out.

She said,
she didn't understand.

I told her all these things again.
Again and again.

Each time her response was the same.
She didn't understand.

I soon found out that
I was the one
that didn't understand.

She didn't need a man,
for she already had a new one.

She had already given her heart
to someone else.

I didn't understand how
she of all people could have done this.

She had this same thing
done to her many years ago.

It hurt her so,
it took her years
and years to
try to get over it.

She never has gotten completely
over it even to this day.

She thought it was
the worst thing
anyone could ever do.

How was it all so different now,
in her mind.

Couldn't she see
what she was doing
to my heart,
to her son's heart,
to what she stood for
most of her life.

Had she really become
some kind of stranger
to me, to my son,
to herself.

I would do anything to get back,
the wife I once knew,
and still love so deeply,
if she could only help me
to find her again.