invisible path

Lying in my madness,
created by me alone,
sleep can not be found.

The pills I take to find this sleep,
no longer do their job.

Three, then four, and now five,
can find me no relief.

I did the most horrid things, 
any fool could ever dream,
to kill a love so true,
but I can not let it go.

The right thing to do,
but I can’t for now,
just yet, ever I fear,

for she says she is gone for good,
and never coming back.

This all I do hear,
as it echoes 
in my nightmares,
and my daymares,
and this pain so deep inside.  

She has found one who is
the luckiest man alive,
for he does win her love.

The love that I lost
that is my life’s blood.

I was once this luckiest man alive,
be I now the most cursed to pay this price. 

He deserves her,
and me not,
to say for sure,

dreadful mistaker that I be,
this human man. 

Unforgivable mistakes time and again,
that cost me this heavenly prize,
that was her love.

Oh, if only her heart could have then seen,
foolish children do make mistakes,
but this sentence of death,
do not deserve.

This is my sentence of death,
for it is killing me immeasurably .

God, I pray once more and again,
find this invisible path,
not yet seen by she or I,
that could lead my way back to her.